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Who Are You Yoked Up With?

Life is full of ups and downs twists and turns, but it does not have to be difficult or impossible if we are yoked up with the right people. When I say “yoked up with,” I mean being in a relationship with another person. It could mean marriage or just who you spend your time with. When I was a young girl, my grandmother would often say to be careful of the company you keep, they will either lift you up or tear you down. I believe we are not meant to walk through this life alone. Some may never marry, but that does not mean they have to be alone. We have family members, friends, and a community. When you have a lot to carry and you feel the pressure of the world, stop, look around, and see who you are yoked up with.

A yoke is different than a harness or a bridle. A harness is meant for one occupier (usually used for animals). A bridle also is often used on animals, especially horses, and is designed to be used one at a time. Whereas a yoke is a wooden beam sometimes used between a pair of animals such as oxen to help them pull a load together. When we are yoked up with someone else (or a community) it allows us to have help in carrying whatever may be burdening us down. Anything is always easier to handle when there are two or more joining in the process.

Now, it is important to be careful who you yoke up with because you want someone that will mutually be invested in what is going on and what you need. Sometimes one of you may have to carry the load a little more than the other because you may be tired, weary, or exhausted, but just make sure you are not linked up with someone that is expecting you to carry all the weight. I have been in that situation before and believe me it is no fun and it will wear you down. This is why it is so important to get to know the people you associate with and hang out with. Do they mean well? Is their heart in the right place? It is also important for us to check our own selves to make sure we have the right attitude and intentions. If your load is not getting lighter from the partner or group you have decided to connect with, you may be in the wrong circle.

We are meant to lift each other up. Our goal should always be to lift someone else up as we climb. Life can be tough, especially over the past three years due to the pandemic. We can learn from our ancestors who had to live through so many trying times and yet they made it. When our forefathers and foremothers were originally brought to America they were brought here as slaves and they too were yoked up and treated as animals, because their masters wanted to maximize the work they could do. But that did not break them, a different type of “yoking” up began to boil up inside of them and it brought together a community that helped one another until they were able to get to the other side and experience freedom.

If you are struggling and the load you are caring seems all uphill and too heavy to pull alone, look around and see who you have beside you, in front of you, and behind you, to push you up the hill and help you along the way. Remember, this is not a one-way street, you too must be willing to help those that are in your life and who you choose to yoke up with. As my grandmother would say, it takes being a friend to have a friend. #SOG #CoachWendy #Companyyoukeep

Healing Without Hate: It’s a choice. It’s a lifestyle. Pass it on.

Visit and to learn more. Wendy is a life strategist, coach, consultant, author, and speaker.

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